I'm beginning to feel numb, to this kind of pain. I just got yelled at, and he's still mad. I don't blame him. He has every right to be mad at me. I know that I have every right to be mad at him. I'm always mad, I have some type of excessive anger. For as long as I could remember, I always had to deal with things alone. So I'm fine with being on my own. It hurts, but I'm still alive. So, he had a shitty day, and then ended off with a shitty last conversation. We yelled at each other, or basically over each other. He wanted to leave cause he's sad about his life. I never want him to leave when he's sad, no matter how mad I am at him. Just because I'm mad at him doesn't mean I don't love him. I'll never stop loving him. But he still has so many barriers I have yet to take down, if I can. Maybe I'm not the one to do that, as much as I would like to. I know how it feels like to be sad, it's a familiar place.