so many things happening, so many reasons to overthink. I don't know what I want anymore.

It's been a while. My emotions have been everywhere. I always think I'm PMS-ing, but I havent gotten my period since last year. All of this anxiety/stress is the reason. I thought the vacation would have made my stress go away, but having the vacation with my parents just made it more angry cause they drive so fucking slow, and they get so angry at me when I'm trying to correct them. like fuck you, we could have spent atleast 5-7 more hours with the family if you guys would just listen to the gps.

I don't have the will to go on sometimes. I feel like everything's dull. My heart hurts. weh.

I went to tita luchies grave. cried so much. Everyone used to call me little luchie, just because I reminded everyone of her. I guess thats why it hurts so much to sing anymore.

I was told that I'm really good. In all types of aspects. I was told that I'm a good daughter, a good sister, and a to-be-mother. I don't stress my parents out like my older sister did, I always look out for my siblings, and I take good care of my little cousins. A good girlfriend? I have yet to be told that. But I think I am, or I like to think. Obviously I'm very patient with all the hell I've been put through. I know I lose it sometimes, but I know this is what I want.

I don't know how to make myself feel better.