i dont know if this is my sickness speaking right now, but I'm really frustrated. I don't know if I can take it anymore. with everything. I'm just tired. I'm tired of being the one who's wrong.

ONE, vocal jazz is the death of me physically and emotionally. Its tearing me apart.

TWO, I await the day where I get the "i'm outside, lets go for a drive" kinda call from my bf. but NO all I get is a "so" when I get mad at him for not wanting to drive, and when our friends make fun of him. I'm so tired.

it's things like this where it makes me wonder if i'm ready to "settle down" so to say. I know I love him. But I want to feel like i'm worth it, I want him to buy me gifts, take me out on dates, drive me around.

speaking of driving, the drive home today sucked balls. his ninang fucking hates me. obviously. shes the reason why his parents think that I'll get pregnant. I said "hi" and it looked like she didn't give a fuck. I might as well have jumped out of the fucking car and bussed home. at least the bus driver would want to drive me.

there's so many things to consider before i act upon my thoughts. I'm just tired of being with his family when i'm with him. I need some alone time with my boyfriend.