so, he bailed on our anniversary date, was allowed to go to my cousin's second birthday party. I wanted to just be with him. no one else. no one from his family, no one from mine. just us. I miss him, I need him to just look at me and know something is wrong. I don't want to tell him, he has to find out by himself. I don't know why I can't do this. Today he came over, gave me an anniversary present because I gave him one. I didn't want to give him one, honestly. I just need him to know that he means something to me. Today after he looked at what those shirts looked like on me, he played street fighter with my brother, then when we got to the party he was playing with my little cousin. he would barely pay attention to me, and questioned when I would want to sit next to him. I wanted to make covers with him, he refused. I got really mad. I didn't even make a cover. I just left him hanging. ugh. I feel so bad, but I just feel so shitty. UGH. he wouldn't stop talking to my cousin, who's also his classmate, who sees him atleast once a week. seeing him once a month is lucky for me, and he's spending it talking to someone he can talk to at school. maybe I'm just being bitchy, because I'm still pretty bitter from the cancellation of our date. everything was perfect. I bought a new dress, with matching jewelry. everything was set. I went to visit him at his clinical, delivered his anni present, and a present for his cousin. he called me dumb. it really hurt. I know I am, just stop. ugh.