Day 2 pt2, Everytime. Tuesday, July 26, 20117:53 PM / top
Everytime you go away, my heart goes with you. Everytime you go away, my heart's torn in two. Is there something I can say? Won't you change the plan to make? 'Cuz my heart can't stand the pain.
they say real pain only lasts 12 minutes, the rest is just self-inflicted. But what if, you're trying to forget about it and then think about it again? does the pain just keep adding on and on? I feel like it is. I need to get out, but there's no one to hang out with. Everyone is busy with their own lives, I've only decided to hang out with a few people this summer, obviously arjel, gyan and rowena and the sometimes marjo. ria and marjo are allergic to my cats, so its hard to ask if they want to come over. Gyan is at conference for yfc, and obviously arjel is gone and clearly, arjel's departure has been affecting me the most. three days, without any contact when I clearly asked for some. maybe it's a test? well, I don't like it. he wants to "get away" now im thinking that when he said that he was talking about me. I hate this test, but really, we're not supposed to. maybe he wants me not to need him so much? but this is his fault, I've been independent until we started dating. he told me to trust him, and that's all I've been trying to do. co-dependent is something that I never wanted to be. now I'm thinking about seeing how long I CAN last without him. I'm going to have to at some point. It's only tuesday. he's back next weekend. I can last for the next week, because I'm going to be hanging out with gyan and it's never boring with him, he's my best friend <3 this week is the hardest, staying home, looking for things to occupy myself while waiting for everyone to come home. I feel like everyone seems to be leaving and I'm just left alone in the boring life I have. This is my only getaway for a while. I hope that this is okay, my feelings aren't intense enough to have people reading this over and over again, feelings sorry for me. I'm fine, at least I think I am. I want to be. I'll be okay for now. It's hard not to miss arjel, but I do all the time. obviously he's not missing me. he's having the time of his life and he's not doing what he said he was doing "i'll be thinking of you all the time" pfft. whatever. It's not gonna affect me.. that much. I just gotta face that fact. But I got this, I assure you I will not do anything to myself. I will do what right, I will take care of myself. I'll do what you said.
" If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together
there is something you must always remember;
you are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you."