Hello world, I should be asleep right now.I have a lot on my mind. like A LOT! I don't really know how to start. There's so many things I want to say right now.
I miss you. I F*CKING miss you. I spent the majority of my time thinking of you this whole weekend. whether it was a good thought or a sad thought. I'm a very jealous kind of person, but I always try not to show it. I know that you're .. you. But still, I just wish you knew how I felt. I wanna be there for you when you need me. I wanna be the first to congratulate you when you succeed in anything. I wanna praise you for the things you should be praised for. I want to be the women of God for you. "behind every man is a stronger woman" something I learned in level up. It's the woman's job to be supportive of the man, to care and tend to his needs. I feel I can be that women for you. I care a lot about you.
I love that little smirk you have when you accidentally make a mistake. It makes my heart smile. When you smile, my heart melts. But .. the bittersweet part is that you affect my heart all the time. When you're away .. my heart hurts. I know I can contact you whenever .. but its not the same when you're not physically here. I'm not gonna hide it anymore. I love you.
You used to tell me that He doesn't want us to be in those kinds of relationships. So I didn't know how or what to think. Maybe I'm sinning just thinking about you now. I don't know, but that means, my sin is loving you. He gives so much love to me and everyone else. aw man, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm glad everyone moved to tumblr. I can't vent about anything right now, and no one really cares but me.
Right now, I'm listening to Gabe Bondoc's cover of "I Remember" by Keyshia Cole. Gabe's voice always heals the wounds I have when I'm in a bad state. In this song, even Gabe cries near the end. It's weird .. hearing someone cry, who makes you happy. That just makes your whole perspective of them different. But they're only human right? right.
I remember when my heart broke, I remember when I gave up loving you ..
the only thing that breaks my heart, is the thought of you not accepting my heart.