im going asian in this blog. im so sorry but i love you . HAHA big bang, im freaking cool. i know you're jealous. yeaaaaaaaaaah maaaaaaaaan
kso, i just thought i'd put this out in the open, i was reading a bunch of blogs today and they're all about regrets and everything, hence the title 'lies' and the big bang song but anyways .. I'M NOT GONNA REGRET ANY THING ANYMORE. I trusted my heart to the Lord, and only him. I don't wanna be the one who keeps saying "im sorry for not being .." something that you want me to be. Unless I say sorry cause I punched you in the face. hahaha! But I know He wants me to show people how good it feels to be original, to be creative, and to show the world that the only person's thoughts should count is His. I don't need someone to tell me "what are you doing? people are gonna think you're weird" WELL I DON'T CARE. God still loves me. He also loves everyone no matter what. His love is what makes the world go around. Without Him, we wouldn't be able to be here, to have the beautiful crops growing around the world. oh yeah, you may say "what about hunger, poverty etc." well, there is only good when you look for it. But sin gets in the way of things, sin gets in the way of our thoughts, actions and feelings. but God always forgives, and tries His hardest to make things right for everyone. It's funny, God gave His only son for us and we just keep asking and asking from Him and He does so much for us. All he asks of us is to love Him as much as He loves each and everyone of us. I was talking with my sister one day, she has a Buddhist friend. She told me that her friend said "I know I'm Buddhist, but I believe in God because you guys do." THAT right there is God's love that's spread to other religions. It may be only one person, but it's still something. Right? Right.
I love talking about God like this to other people. To enlighten them, and trying to open their eyes to what is around them. I pray for everyone of them to realize soon. its better sooner then later. At first, I was sad because I didn't join YFC earlier, like with my older sister. She joined a camp, she went to pre-con, she went to conference when it was here. She was active when it counted. But then, sin got in the way. I've struggled with tears for her for many years after she slowly became inactive. At times, I wonder why she got so far away from God, from the YFC community. But she had a child, a beautiful baby boy. I became his God mother. That is an honor because I know that she trusts me enough to be his guardian. I Love Aiden with all my heart. I won't let him grow up without someone telling him that they love him, will always be there for him. I feel kinda bad cause, that's how my ate grew up. She grew up without a mom to tuck her in at night, or tell her that she loved her. But my sister is my hero. She makes my day. Despite everything that shes gone through, shes still as strong as she is now. Living her life on a day to day basis, happy. I'm so glad God has blessed me with her in my life. As some people may know, shes not my FULL sister, shes my half, we have the same dad. Her mom died in 2001 and was adopted by my mom. Now that my sister moved out of the house, everyone here missed her so much. My brother wouldnt put things down that belonged to her. I asked him why one day and he was like "cause ate doesnt spend time with me anymore" and it broke my heart.. in to a million pieces. cause I knew how he felt. I just didn't know how to put it in words. and that was the time when she was pregnant, and she wasnt living with us. I loved it when she came home and slept over, the world felt right in place when she was here. I felt happy, my family was complete.
Before I joined the YFC community, I had just started giving my long prayers to God, wondering if he was there, but I never really knew. I got evangelized, and kept getting bugged. My parents thought it was a waste of time and money.But I remembered my sister going there. So I talked to her about it, and she convinced my parents to let me go. My camp, Camp Rock, was the greatest life changing experience ever. I knew that God was there, watching over me, and my family. after camp, my parents didn't really try to ask what happened and if im going to do anything in the future. So I talked to my sister, when she came here. I really liked it. I missed her alot and she brought Aiden. He is now baptized as a roman catholic at St.Peters church.
All my prayers at Camp Rock were answered. Even if it was for a little while. They still were. and Praise be to God.
oh great, now im all teary eyed. im gonna send an email to my sister, and tell her how much I love her and i want her back in my life.
ALSO, that im gonna be president of HSB at my school (: If only her and aiden were here. My life would be complete.
" If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together
there is something you must always remember;
you are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you."