urgh (yes another one of my venting notes) read at your own risk. its not as late as i intended to put it. but i've had A LOT of time to think so far. two days at home, cause no ones made any plans, i'd like to make plans, but i'm always too lazy too. but yeah, i need something to keep me occupied. no offence, but my friends are always busy without me. they're all busy with they're jobs or with another group of friends. ): sometimes it makes me feel left out. but i guess its my fault too, im not really trying. but the only reason im not trying, is cause i dont wanna make it look like im too clingy, so i kinda .. keep my distance until i know when its right. i can agree, my life right now is waay better then it was before. like in junior high, cause theres no MAJOR drama .. that includes me. I think im only making up some kinda drama with my mind, over thinking things. maybe its cause i have a lot of time to over anaylze things. I've been watching alot of House M.D episodes, probably their supirior thinking makes me feel like i need to think more. urgh. i'm over thinking RIGHT NOW, as im typing this. soooo annoying. sometimes i wonder if im strong enough to withstand this. cause i know that i have a tendancy to keep things to myself. "follow your heart" but .. MY HEART DOESNT TALK! how do i know what it says? if ANYONE knows .. can you please tell me? its been a rollercoaster ride with this. first i like him alot. then hes a total dick, and i dont like him. after that he makes me feel that im the most awesome person in the world and he'd be standing right beside me. URGH why do you have to be like that? i wish .. i could read his mind. even if its just for a day. just so i can get things straight with my mind and us. I'd really like to think theres something there, cause at times you made me feel like we were getting somewhere.
" If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together
there is something you must always remember;
you are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you."