[8] A song sung by nick jonas, when he was younger. He lived in a stable family, its like .. perfect.
sometimes i with my life could be like that, no wait .. i take that back, I WISH MY LIFE COULD BE LIKE THAT. with my parents constant fighting, I stay in my room most of the time and cry, I don't want my siblings to see me cry, I'm supposed to be their ate, their idol, I want to be someone they look up to. I pray and pray that this will get better, on some days He has answered my prayers. But sometimes its like .. they fight, and the day before never even happened.
I know wishing does nothing, But i wish I could last in my house for a week without crying. like seriously. I pray for hours before i sleep just so it would get better, I repeat myself over and over until I cant anymore, maybe thats why i've been lacking sleep alot. YFC is my other family. I was told that everyone in YFC loves one another, even if they don't know you, you're welcomed into the community with open arms. I love YFC, after every event, It makes me feel so cleansed and I never want to leave because I love that feeling. I envy familys that are perfect and dont have any problems. But God believes I can overcome this obstacle, so it means i have to go through it. I believe im pretty strong as it is, because of all the things God has put upon me, but HOW LONG WILL THIS GO ON?! Lord God, how come this has to happen to ME? WHY?! I know I haven't been faithful my whole life, but is this my penance for doubting you in the past? I know I was created by you, molded, every aspect you know about me. You know my strengths and weaknesses, my every thought, why does the devil play with my mind so much? I know for a fact you love me and I'll always love you no matter what.
maaan, im being so contradictory right now. I'm getting myself mad. I just dont know how to handle this anymore. crying is so... overly done when you're me. sometimes it means nothing anymore. but "Crying cleanses the soul" I honestly know my soul isnt pure, but I try to make it seem like that, I give people some advice, and tell them that God loves you no matter what you do. I really like getting into those talks with people, it makes me feel that God is with me as im talking to them. I really want everyone I know to be in YFC.
Love always, ardiasarao
"Won’t You send a sign down, just to ease my doubt I’m trying to hear You, but the silence is so loud I think I see a rainbow from behind the clouds And I hear You now, dear God."
" If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together
there is something you must always remember;
you are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you."