Shine Bright Like a Diamond.
Friday, February 15, 2013 2:08 PM /
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Valentines day, where do I even start. We made time for each other. He made time for me. Everything was perfect. I woke up at 6:30, just to get ready. He picked me up at 8:30, just like he said he was going to. I got into the car, chocolates were on my seat, for me! we drove to perkins for breakfast. He went to the trunk and got me a bouquet of flowers. We ate so much that I felt I was going to barf. and he gave me the most beautiful necklace I've ever seen and he says "it's from ben moss" I didn't expect anything more than flowers and the breakfast. After that we headed back to my house and we got there at 9:45. everything was perfect, despite the fact that he had to leave at 11. But everything was perfect. He makes me happy, I make him happy. It was just us in our little world, just like I want it to be. Nothing could have brought me down yesterday. I was temporarily the happiest girl in the world.
but now, I just feel lonely. Like yesterday is in the past. I miss him more than ever right now. My heart hurts, but I don't want it to. only he can make this pain go away. I just want cuddles and kisses.. forever. I just want to fast forward time where we're settled with our careers and we make a cute family (if possible). Please, I just want to be happy.
My boyfriend is so good to me. I've always been the one to love more. ALWAYS. It feels good to know that I am loved and probably to the extent, more than I love him. I've never, EVER in my whole life have I experienced so much pain, so much happiness, so much anger and so much love towards another human being. I am a difficult person to be with, and he's still here. After so many words yelled, so many arguments.. I know I'm still young and naive, but I swear with every single molecule in my being.. that he is the one that I will spend my life with.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
I would
Monday, February 11, 2013 9:48 PM /
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Ugh.. He's mad and swearing at me. I'm hurting so bad. All I did was care. All I do is care for him and he keeps hurting me. My heart can only be strong for so long... I love him so much. I don't know..
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Say A Little Prayer.
Thursday, February 7, 2013 11:22 PM /
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Just witnessed my boyfriend pray for the first time. It was so calming. He looked so at ease, calm in his heart and his body. I know that my faith has slowly fallen during the years, but I still give my thanks everyday to Him who gives me life no matter how much I may not want it sometimes. I've prayed with a lot of people.. but I've never prayed with my bf. I've always wanted to ask if he wanted to pray with me, but I always thought about it and how weird it would feel. One day I'll get the strength to, one day.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Talk to me.
Saturday, February 2, 2013 2:35 AM /
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I'm beginning to feel numb, to this kind of pain. I just got yelled at, and he's still mad. I don't blame him. He has every right to be mad at me. I know that I have every right to be mad at him. I'm always mad, I have some type of excessive anger. For as long as I could remember, I always had to deal with things alone. So I'm fine with being on my own. It hurts, but I'm still alive. So, he had a shitty day, and then ended off with a shitty last conversation. We yelled at each other, or basically over each other. He wanted to leave cause he's sad about his life. I never want him to leave when he's sad, no matter how mad I am at him. Just because I'm mad at him doesn't mean I don't love him. I'll never stop loving him. But he still has so many barriers I have yet to take down, if I can. Maybe I'm not the one to do that, as much as I would like to. I know how it feels like to be sad, it's a familiar place.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥