I turned my phone off. so you have no contact with me. I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm so tired of waiting for you when nothing ever happens. This is the second time. Valentines day, you took me out and we had a great time, but then you got home and then I didn't get a good night AND you didn't even call me the next day because you were "sleepy" and he didn't even say goodnight either. Yesterday, we hung out with my baby cousins at their house. You barely show me any physically affection anymore. It feels like we're fading. You didn't kiss me before he left the car, you just stared at me. Today, I spent 3h trying to find the perfect couple sweaters for us, or well something that you would actually like. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I'm so tired of this, I've got so much love to give but I don't know where to put it. I love you, and you love me, that's what I know. Sometimes, I know that I love you more and just want your attention. I don't want you talking about his school with my cousin, to play his stupid fighting game [even if I did get it for you], I want your attention and affection. I don't want
us to go to waste.
11:52 PM:
"going to sleep with a smile on my face tonight." was the tweet before you slept today. so, the day with my family was "day off spent wisely" and when you bitch at your family to get FUCKING mcdonalds, and get me angry as fuck, you sleep with a smile? god damit. I hate when you tweet shit to piss me off. the other day when I was mad at you for leaving early on a friday to fucking sleep and you never told me until the next fucking day you had a road test. right now, I don't give a fuck about your damn road test you passed. It's not doing ANYTHING for you, you're the same person. If you want something GET IT, don't bitch at your family, you're a practically a grown man. when I worked my overnight at work, you stayed up until I got home, I appreciated that so much and it made me feel like you actually cared about me instead of your damn sleep for once. I was talking to you, spilling my heart. I said "I really appreciate what you did for me, hun. I'm glad I can talk to you about things. I really miss you. I know I feel broken majority of the time, but you.. you just make it better. Just hearing your voice calms me down. I know I'm not alone when you're with me." but then I found out you were sleeping.. so you never heard what I said. I don't know when you'll ever read this, but I'm tired of this shit.