The One.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 12:49 AM /
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it's times like this where all the tears, all the fights, all the heart breaks are worth it. This feeling of ultimate high. So perfect. I'm so proud of myself for sticking this out like a champ and the heavens have awarded me with my soulmate. I love life, I love today, and most of all,
I love him.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Fall.
Saturday, August 4, 2012 8:21 PM /
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I've been avoiding this feeling of resentment towards this situation. I've also been trying to not talk to him. I always seem to type something and then I dont send it. "I love you, I hope you still know that" ugh, its so annoying how all this indecisive feelings decided to show up. I'm happy that he's thinking about me, and that he decided to tell me that he loves me. I'm sad because my heart hurt, I just wish my heart wasnt so fragile. I wanted to cry when I saw it.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Idk this has been hard. It's only been a few days but Idk. I don't even know what to say about anything right now. I have that feeling of missing him and wanting him to call, but I'm glad he hasn't. I just need to breathe right now. I don't want to talk to him. I'll just cry and I don't want to be sad right now,
I'm using my new blackberry playbook right now. I'm I'm love with it. I just wish I could get Skype and instagram on this. But I don't need to have it,but I want it. Lol. I'm tired I have one day off, which is Monday and I work the rest of the week. How sad is my life? Sad right?
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Fickle.
Thursday, August 2, 2012 10:58 AM /
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Gabe's new Timing LP is amazing. I can't get enough of it. It's those kinda albums where it speaks for itself, and whatever my heart my feels.
"never go to bed angry" its been too many times that I've had. Nothing is ever done when I go to bed angry. Things are never resolved. Just pushed to the side. I don't like that.
I'm not happy. Not like i was at the beginning. none of this "bestfriends" shit, like last time. I can't just be his friend. It's either we are together or not. I can't have an in-between. It would just be awkward hanging out with the "used-to-be" feeling. I keep talking myself back into this relationship, but it's not healthy for me. My anxiety builds up, I get more stressed... I end up at that breaking point. and I find myself there a lot ever since I've graduated from high school.
I cut it out, for good if I could.
wish that I still felt the same,
my fickle heart's to blame.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
More Than Words.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012 10:14 PM /
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I can be the biggest bitch in the world if I wanted to. "live life to the fullest, you won't regret it" I could have tweeted "shut up" but my heart said no. I want to be angry. I thought things would have changed. You promised. BUT NOTHING CHANGED. I feeel like everything is a lie right now. I feel like I'm trying too hard. Saying " I love you" doesn't seem to be enough. I'm tired of being alone all the time.
It's not 2 years down the drain right? it's just 2 years of growing, figuring out who I am, how I can make someone happy. Learning what's too much and what's not enough. I don't feel happy, especially right now. I don't feel wanted by his family, which hurts more. I can't even stand it anymore. I don't like feeling unwanted.
Will this be the last of my sadness? will I have the heart to do anything about it?
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥