The Hardest Thing.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011 9:29 PM /
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I miss you.
I'm not going to try anymore. I feel like its pointless now. I don't want to walk away, I don't. It feels like its over already. I'm the only one working for this. I want you to show me that you care. please. I need something to hold on to.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
Papercut
Sunday, November 6, 2011 9:30 PM /
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so, he bailed on our anniversary date, was allowed to go to my cousin's second birthday party. I wanted to just be with him. no one else. no one from his family, no one from mine. just us. I miss him, I need him to just look at me and know something is wrong. I don't want to tell him, he has to find out by himself. I don't know why I can't do this. Today he came over, gave me an anniversary present because I gave him one. I didn't want to give him one, honestly. I just need him to know that he means something to me. Today after he looked at what those shirts looked like on me, he played street fighter with my brother, then when we got to the party he was playing with my little cousin. he would barely pay attention to me, and questioned when I would want to sit next to him. I wanted to make covers with him, he refused. I got really mad. I didn't even make a cover. I just left him hanging. ugh. I feel so bad, but I just feel so shitty. UGH. he wouldn't stop talking to my cousin, who's also his classmate, who sees him atleast once a week. seeing him once a month is lucky for me, and he's spending it talking to someone he can talk to at school. maybe I'm just being bitchy, because I'm still pretty bitter from the cancellation of our date. everything was perfect. I bought a new dress, with matching jewelry. everything was set. I went to visit him at his clinical, delivered his anni present, and a present for his cousin. he called me dumb. it really hurt. I know I am, just stop. ugh.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
selfish.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011 10:07 PM /
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*sigh the same thing over and over. I always just deal with it and then break down because he thinks I'm fucking crazy. same shit, different day. its just hard to deal with.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥
This One Is For You.
7:32 PM /
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seriously? this sucks. I know school is important. that has already been established. but why is OUR life being controlled by your mom? its OUR life, yes I know she gave life to you. whatever. but really? OUR ANNIVERSARY DATE? IS MOST LIKELY NOT GONNA HAPPEN? fuck. seriously. I'm tired of trying. trying so hard. what the fuck do you do? nothing. ugh.
Peace,Love & Harmony,
arjaaah♥