Strangers, Again. Saturday, May 14, 20117:33 PM / top
Meeting, The Chase, Honeymoon, Comfortable, Tolerance, Downhill, and The Break-Up;
7 stages of a relationship.
Honestly, after seeing this video, I was scared for my life. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused. Do I still love him? Does he still love me? are what we telling each other just words disguising our real emotions? I feel so lost, so alone right now. I feel like I'm trying to become accustomed to his life instead of compromising with each other. Am I wasting my time? I thought love was forever, but it just constantly hurts when it's always just me trying. All I want is to be needed in return. If I'm not, then what's the whole point? Tolerance. yup. I didn't point it out first. It's been bothering me for the longest time ever. Ever since we argued a few weeks ago. I assumed it was perfect two weeks ago. School trip, spending almost every waking minute together, even if we weren't awake, we were next to each other holding the other in our arms. Then the age 18 came out of nowhere. The surgery. The Blackberry. When we got back from the trip, all we did was catch up on the 3 days we missed of school work, but that took 2 weeks. I cant take this anymore.
I don't know why I'm so in love with you. I know that, that is the only thing holding me back, but being without you won't fix anything of it. I wish there was a way where I just don't feel anything. I just feel like everything is holding me back from my true passion. I fucking hate this. I hate my life right now. Everything is so difficult. I'm pulling hermit on everyone, I feel like no one is worth hearing my story. Everyone deserves to be happy and not to dwell in my sorrow. I don't even know where to start. I want to ask myself "is this pain worth it?" "where is this taking me?" I feel that this relationship isn't reciprocating. I'm always the one trying to make time. I have all the time in the world for him. I want him to just be with me. Even just for a while. I'm pretty sure he feels forced and always tries to get out of it. usually with his newly legality and his new blackberry. I know we didn't fight like this before, but it means so much more then it did to me now. I fight back because I need him to know how I feel. He fights because I cry all the time. if you just HEAR ME OUT, let me tell my side and give time to understand how I feel. please.
we're constantly told by many that we're perfect for each other. As a female, we constantly need someone to show us they love and appreciate us. Society has permanently embed in our minds that we are insufficient. I hate lying. It wears me down.. yeah, since I'm here. The other day, I wasn't just crying for the reason I said, there was a second part that triggered it. But clearly, that point is now obvious. This is a start. I don't know where I want to end. I don't know if it will.
I. don't. know. why. I'm. so. in. love. with. you.
" If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together
there is something you must always remember;
you are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you."